I'm afraid of my novel.
Let me back up:
On February 10, I decided to blow the dust off my urban fantasy project, tentatively titled FOUR. Between then and March 10, I added a little over 30,000 words to the document. I let one of my critique partners read the roughness, and she liked it. She pumped me up with encouragement.
Then I joined the ninjas and was automatically part of a support group. High-fives and gentle butt-kicks all the way around--complete with weekly chats! Awesome, no?
I was holding pretty steady with an average 2k/day word count goal. I had the entire thing planned out, and I was excited to write it. I got myself to the climax of the second act, a part I'd been excited about writing since I came up with the plot points.
And then I went on vacation.
All good intentions of writing while away fell to the wayside. Vacation was stressful, but I bought Donald Maass's book The Fire in Fiction and have read most of it. Reading it made me feel part-validated, part-daunted. I'm on the right track in some places, and have a lot of work cut out in others. But it gave me some good ideas for immediate ways to improve the final third of my novel. So I was all excited to get back home and start writing.
But getting back from vacation is no vacation, right? First, it was a Monday, which meant I had class. And I also had to catch up on all the stuff that'd been left waiting while we were gone--grocery shopping, laundry, cat-related things, bills, errands. Not to mention hubby was still on vacation, so he was around the house to distract. Then on Tuesday, we were gone all day looking for houses. Ensuing house-related business totally sapped the rest of my energy.
To make a long story short, I haven't touched my WIP in two weeks now, and I'm a little scared to go back. I remember precisely where I left off, and it was a scene I was already a bit nervous to write--let alone come back to TWO WEEKS later. What if I was in a speed writing-induced haze? What if everything I wrote to this point totally blows and sucks all the joy I had for this novel out of me?
Today I finally, finally have enough time to open up Word and check the damage. I've had my grapefruit, had my coffee, and the cats are napping.
Now or never...