I know it's in part due to the stress of trying to buy a house and watching each one slip through our fingers for one reason or another. I'm actually feeling better in that regard--I do know that, logically speaking, I'll get a house eventually.
Some is the nasty arrival of Spring allergies, and my forgetfulness about taking Claritin in the mornings, not after I've been running around outside all day and have a major headache.
A large part is a case of wicked nightmares and all-around odd dreams I've been plagued with lately. Serial killers in some, exes in others. Last night, I had a very realistic dream in which Santa Claus proved, irrefutably, that he existed. And as magical as that sounds, it was underscored with a hint of unease, discomfort--even fear.
To combat this lurking ennui, I've been pushing myself physically--running more and more each time, and now I've started up the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred workouts again. Yesterday while stretching post-run, I discovered that I'd burst some blood vessels in my calf.
Most of all, my writing has been suffering. I'm generally pretty good about pushing through blocks, just getting words down (thank you, English degree and papers whose deadlines don't care), but this time it's tougher. I'm so close to seeing the end, but so frustrated with the sound of my own Voice that I can't stand to see the sentences that I write. I keep telling myself it's just the rough draft, get it down, it can suck--all the usual mantras, but they aren't helping.
Fortunately, it's all still manageable. I think it's just "that time of year." Things are so close to changing, but you've gotta slog through the shit first, you know?
*** an attempt to end on a lighter note ***Since I sorta broke my digital camera a while ago, we only had a disposable camera for our trip to Maryland a few weeks ago, and when we got them processed had a CD made too. Here are a few pictures of Calvert Cliffs State Park, where the beach is eroding and you can find fossils!
It was a 2 mile hike through woods and swamp to get there, but totally worth it! However, it was only around 55 degrees and super windy, so that wasn't as fun as it could have been. I did get in the water just for a second, and couldn't feel my feet for a while afterward...